Monday, June 4, 2012

look back and regret versus look back and reflect

Assalamualaikum and hello peeps,

So....I've been wasting my time again today doing unproductive stuff..surfing the internet all day long, watching YouTube videos and stalking friends and foes all over Facebook. Nah...just kidding. No foes y'all. Is it just me, or is it normal for a human being not having any foe? I dunno la...( just can't resist writing la.....I'm proud to be Malaysian..hihihi) I don't feel the need to waste my energy and attention towards some negative and useful feelings which will eventually harm and hurt others. I am the type of person who has the lowest energy in the world. Really. I don't have much energy to begin with. I used up to 60% of my energy just to wake up in the morning because I'm not a morning person you see....therefore the very act of forcing myself to wake up earlier consumed a lot of energy. So there goes 60% of my energy. Now I'm left with only 40%. What do I do with that precious 40%? Right now, specifically today, I have wasted most of it surfing the internet, lepak-ing in my room, lazying around all day long. What I should do right now is reading books, articles and journals for my upcoming dissertation, but I refuse to do so right now because I am just too absorb in my unproductive and hedonistic world which I know is kinda wrong, but doing the wrong thing is often much more interesting than doing the right thing. I guess I may appear to myself and to everyone else; if any is watching me right now (which I doubt because I am alone in my room....at least I hope so) as being restful and lazily at ease physically, but mentally I just can't stop myself from thinking and questioning, do I really want to spend my 40% in this manner, should I just simply spend the 40% the way it is now, stop thinking too much about what can I do today because obviously so far I have done less than what I have expected and hope that the 40% of tomorrow would be spent more wisely. 






Someone who is very dear to me once said, no more looking back and regret , now keep on moving forward, only look back and reflect. 



Best wishes,
Mira

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